Building Joy

Happy Monday! I hope you are all doing well. Last week I was very attuned to the power of the comparing mind both in myself and others. Whenever I think about the comparing mind I am reminded of this quote by Teddy Roosevelt; “Comparison is the Thief of Joy”. This became my message for the week. 

FDR was right about this. How much we compare ourselves to others truly does correlate to the amount of joy we feel. Instead of celebrating our unique gifts, we tend to judge them against what we view are better gifts of others. We compare our current self to our old selves and we compare reality against the expectations we have for ourselves. There are lots of ways that the comparing mind can rob us of our joy. 

So on the mat this week I asked students to just begin to notice the trappings of comparing. We cannot shift or soften our thoughts without first noticing them. The pressure we put to compete with ourselves, to do the most, to do it the best, can often lead us deplete of joy. As we moved through the asana practice, I offered gentle reminders several times that there is no competition on the mat; that we can practice listening and noticing the needs of both the body and the mind without judgment or comparison.

Just to be clear, we absolutely need to make decisions using comparison;  which apples to pick at the store and what to eat for lunch, which doctor to use and what car to drive. We are making decisions all day. However, the opportunity for noticing and shifting is when the comparing comes in the form of judgment of ourselves or others. In addition to the other ways the comparing mind can steal our joy; at times we use the comparing mind as a defensive tactic to make ourselves feel better and that too has the capacity to drain our joy. 

This practice is just that… a practice. Whether we are comparing our body parts to another students on the mat or judging our real life against someone’s instagram version, the first step to freeing ourselves of the shackles of a comparing mind is by seeing them and meeting them without judgment.

After class one day this week a student came up to me and told me that she really liked my shirt and then quickly joked “I’m not comparing”. I smiled back and said “We can appreciate things without comparing them. That builds joy, not steals it.” This is what I wish for all of us this week; that through noticing we can build this practice and from there build our joy.