We Need Two Wings to Fly

Last Monday I had one of those days where I was just really feeling down. I wasn’t able to identify a why but what I was connecting with was a combination of sadness and purposelessness. Then came the judgment….. judgment of myself for feeling this way as a mindfulness teacher. The judgment began to totally take over my thoughts and my inner critic was loud and mean. 

At some point later in the day I sat in meditation for a few minutes and I was able to see what was happening. My daughter had gone back to college the day before and I am still adjusting to this new phase in our relationship where she is becoming her own independent self. I wasn’t aware of the underlying feeling of grief and sadness of her leaving until I took a moment to SEE. 

There are two distinct parts to our mindfulness practice. The first is NOTICING.  The second is meeting whatever it is with COMPASSION. This has been described as two wings of a mindfulness bird. One wing is awareness and the other wing is compassion. Just like a bird, we need BOTH wings to fly. 

This concept is what I shared with my classes last week and we practiced with the body on the mat. First we noticed the sensations in the body as we flowed, and then we met those sensations with compassion instead of frustration or judgment. This is the power of mindfulness. Being able to SEE what is going on and then being able to BE with it. 

Once I was able to touch the sadness and grief with the softness of understanding, the feelings themselves were less intense. When we can meet our pain with compassion the pain softens… both in the body and in the heart.

The sadness and grief of my daughter leaving home didn’t just disappear but my relationship to those feelings became kinder and gentler and the judgment of myself for having them did as well.

Our mindfulness practice is a gift that can help us fly and I am so incredibly grateful for it and for all of you who are on this shared journey with me.