The Golden String

As many of you know last year I completed a two year mindfulness meditation training program led by Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. As part of the program each participant is put into a group with 5 other students and we met monthly for two years. I am blessed to say that the six of us remain very close and continue to meet monthly and each month one of us is responsible for leading the group. Last month Jackie (it was her turn) shared a beautiful French parable with a very powerful message that I shared with my classes last week. 

The story is based on a boy named Peter. He didn’t like school and was anxious for his “life” to get going. One day he was wandering in the forest, dreaming of his future and he came upon an old woman calling his name. She offered him a gift of a silver ball with a gold thread hanging out of it. When he asked what it was she told him it was his “life thread”. She explained that if he didn’t pull the thread that time would pass normally but if he wanted time to pass more quickly he could pull the thread. She cautioned however that once the thread was pulled out, it couldn’t go back.

Peter was thrilled and began to pull the string a little each day to make the school day move more quickly. And sure enough as soon as he arrived at school, it seemed he was packing up to go home. One day it occurred to him that it was stupid to pull the thread just a little bit so he gave the thread a hard tug and when he woke up in the morning he was a carpenter apprentice. He was thrilled and loved his new life but sometimes when payday was too far off he tugged the string. He was also excited to marry his childhood friend but he had to wait a year for her to be ready his impatience got the better of him and he pulled the string. Then before they could get married he had to serve two years in the military. At first he liked it but soon he got bored with the routine so he pulled the string and his service was over. It was now his wedding and he was noticing time moving so quickly. His mom had aged so much so he vowed to not pull the thread again until it was absolutely necessary.

A few months later his wife was going to have a baby and he was overjoyed and could hardly wait. When the child was born he felt he could never want for anything again. But when the child was ill or cried through the night he gave the thread a little tug, just so the baby might be well and happy again. For a time he lived in contentment but as his wife had more children, the house became crowded and the worries grew. He started to notice his own age and his mother was looking older and more tired everyday. He knew if he pulled the string it would hasten her death. Soon after she did pass away and he wondered how life passed so quickly even without pulling the thread. One sleepless night he thought about how much easier life would be if all his children were grown up and launched in their careers. He gave the thread a pull and when he awoke he found that his children had all left home for jobs in other places and that he and his wife were alone. He felt very old and his wife was often ill. He couldn’t bear to see her suffer so more and more he pulled the string. But as soon as one trouble was solved, another grew in its place.

One day he decided to go for a walk in the forest to think things over and once again he ran into the old woman. She did not look a day older. She asked “So Peter, did you have a good life?”. He answered “I am not sure. Your magic ball is a wonderful thing. I never had to suffer or wait for anything in my life. And yet it has all passed so quickly. I feel I have no time to take in what has happened to me, neither the good things, nor the bad. Now there is so little time left. I dare not pull the string again as it will only bring me to my death.”

She offered to grant him one final wish and he said “I should like to live my life again, as if for the first time, but without your magic ball. then I will experience the bad things as well as the good without cutting them short, and at least my life will not pass as swiftly and meaninglessly as a daydream.” “So be it.” she said. When Peter awoke he was in his childhood bed with his young mother standing over him. He was overjoyed to get up for school and excited to be alive. Even the prospect of lessons didn’t seem so bad. In fact he could hardly wait. 

This story is a powerful reminder that when we rush through or avoid difficulty we are also doing the same with joy. Just like Peter in this story, when we live in the mindset where we are waiting to be happy until everything is perfect- a time without boredom, discomfort or struggle- then we will miss all the joy that goes along with living. We can’t have one without the other. We are either present with ALL of it or present with NONE of it. 

This is what this practice offers us, the chance to truly be with all of it. On the mat often when something is challenging it is also offering benefits such as strength or flexibility. Off the mat in our lives; woven within the difficulties, are also threads of joy. Sometimes they are deep within the tapestry of struggle but they are always there and it is up to us not to miss them. Because, unlike Peter, we do not get the chance to experience them again.