Habit of Happiness

I hope you all had a great weekend and a wonderful Mothers Day if you celebrate. Last week I shared a little snippit from a workshop I created several years ago that teaches how to “Create a Habit of Happiness”.  Yes, it is a habit just like many other patterns of thought and action. 

In this workshop I share that one of the ways to cultivate a habit of happiness was something that one of my teachers, Jack Kornfield, taught in my training program with him.  When a good deed enters into our minds, if at all possible, we should do it. The act of doing something good brings us joy and makes us happier.

We know this from our yoga practice. We come to our mat to do good things for ourselves with the understanding of the positive side effects; we are happier and healthier versions of ourselves. This in turn also allows us to be better for others.  So I asked my students to view their practice on the mat as a string of good deeds for themselves. Instead of poses, we focused on the service these movements provided for the body and the practice they offered in the mind as training in the “Habit of Happiness”. 

During class I shared what had inspired me to offer this message this week; it was a circle of good deeds. Six months ago my son got a speeding ticket. In addition to experiencing repercussions at home,  in order to get the ticket legally dismissed he had to complete a few court ordered requirements. I was grateful to the judge for giving him consequences and not just letting him off with a warning.

For his last requirement he had to attend her courtroom one morning, listen to her cases, and then she formally dismissed the ticket. I again was very grateful to this judge for her skilled handling of this situation and a few days later I said to my husband; “I should write her a thank you note.” He responded “Then why don’t you?”

It was then I remembered what Jack had said and what I had shared so many times, so I did. I shut down the inner critic telling me she wouldn’t care and the lazy mind telling me it would be a hassle to write and send and I sent an email to her clerk to forward to her sincerely thanking her for her service to my son and the broader community. There is a power that comes from offering someone kind words. I felt happy that I had done that. And then, (much to my surprise) I received a letter back. Here is a quote from that letter.  “Thank you so much for taking the time to write in regarding Holden’s case. I cannot express to you how meaningful that is. My occupation is a tremendous responsibility that I take very seriously, and I could not be more pleased to hear your kind words.”  Herein lies the OTHER benefit of cultivating a “Habit of Happiness”–the third law of Karma– what you sow, so shall you reap—  or in other words; what we put out in the world is what we get back.

I would say that cultivating a “Habit of Happiness” is one of the biggest gifts we can give ourselves and part of the reason is because that happiness comes back to us in several ways. It is not always a direct exchange of good deeds as this was, sometimes it is a circle rather than a boomerang but it does come back around.

It is also not always easy to practice and sometimes our mind struggles (as mine did) but it is something we can come back to. I wish all of you a week of cultivating these positive habits; I am practicing right along with you.