Allow

Last Thursday my family sat together in the emergency vet’s office at 4:30am to say goodbye to our almost twelve year old dog Dixie. It was very sudden and unexpected. This photo was taken a week after we rescued her as a tiny twelve week old puppy. My kids were pretty tiny at that point as well and Dixie was patient, loving and a special part of the powerful, humbling and joyful process of raising them. 

With this acute loss processing in my mind I felt quite raw as I prepared to teach my class the next morning.  I usually share a consistent message for the whole week but with my sadness and shock, I was not sure how to show up with my usual energy. So I didn’t. I showed up as I was – raw and sad and authentic and as I shared Dixie’s story with my students at the beginning of class, the sadness moved through and I found myself able to teach with less heaviness. Authenticity, honesty and allowing helps us lighten the heavy burden of suffering.  

This process of allowing became my message for this past week and I shared this poem as a reminder of the opportunity it provides. 

Allow by Danna Faulds

There is no controlling life. Try corralling a lightning bolt, or containing a tornado. Dam a stream and it will create a new channel. Resist, and the tide will sweep you off your feet. Allow, and grace will carry you to higher ground. The only safety lies in letting it all in– the wild and the weak; fear, fantasies, failures, and success. When loss rips off the doors of the heart or sadness veils your vision with despair, practice becomes simply bearing the truth. In the choice to let go of your known way of being, the whole world is revealed to your new eyes. 
On the mat we practiced allowing in the body and the mind. Our bodies are amazing teachers that help us to tangibly experience what it feels like to allow. I reminded students that allowing in the body requires the breath and softening into resistance to start off, but the letting go of expectation, achievement and judgement is what helps us fully connect to the freedom of acceptance. When we can be with where we are in our bodies, we become better at the same practice in the mind. 

Off the mat, we have the same chance to allow and for me this week it has been an intense process of tears, sadness, reminiscing, wishing and wondering. However on the other side of allowing comes the most powerful and almost unexpected by-product……GRATITUDE.   

Through the waves of allowing I have experienced intense gratitude;for the almost twelve years we had with her, for the amazing companion she was, for the fact that I can still nurture and cuddle my other dog, for my whole family being together with her at the end and that the end came so quickly. 

This process has reminded me of how linked these practices are– allowing and acceptance leads us to gratitude and gratitude leads brings us closer to peace. I find myself grateful once again for this practice and wish you all happy practicing this week.