Comparing Mind

I hope you all had a nice weekend. I just got home from St. Martin and it was a great trip!!  I have been fortunate to have traveled to St. Martin a few times prior to this trip, most recently 4 summers ago.

As I was preparing for this trip I noticed the stories in my mind. There was a comparison mindset that had taken hold. I found myself concerned that our trip this year “wouldn’t be as fun” as last time, and that we wouldn’t “appreciate the beach as much” since we now live near the beach. I compared my body to how it looked four years ago and compared my mindset and the emotions around being one year away from an empty nest with the me of four years ago with both children still at home. 

When I noticed of the thoughts, instead of gaining perspective, I was feeling judgement and anger towards myself for causing myself suffering. I could see it but I couldn’t stop it and this just caused me more suffering. It was a cycle that was difficult to break. 

When we landed and hopped in the rental car I finally felt like I could catch my breath and from there begin to soften and surrender my comparing mind. I found myself beginning to connect to the gift of time together on a special island and reminded myself that “Comparison is the thief of joy”. 

I am happy to say I did not let comparison steal any joy from me on this trip. It was different and great and I was truly present for all of it. It felt like I had won the battle in the mind. Those battles can be challenging… we know exactly what to say to  ourselves so its not really a fair fight. However with our powers of softening comparison and judgement we can find our joy.