I can’t meditate

Happy Memorial Day! I hope you all are enjoying your long weekend. This past week on the mat I started and ended all my classes with a SO HUM meditation. I had been feeling a bit SO HUM myself last weekend and wanted to share how this powerful breath can turn into a bit of a mantra of acceptance. SO and HUM are the natural sounds of the inhale and exhale through the nose of the Ujjayi breath (yoga breath). The sound of the inhale (SO) translates in sanskrit as “I am”. The sound of the exhale (HUM) translates to “That”.  Together, “I am that” can become an acknowledgement that can evolve into acceptance. When we string the breath together it can be a constant reminder to find peace with where we are as a means to moving forward. The repetition translates to “I am that I am that I am” as we breathe. 

Starting with an acceptance of where we are (and are not) is truly necessary for transformation to happen. We cannot shift our patterns of thought and action without seeing how we arrived where we are. This practice always reminds me of one of my favorite passages by Mark Nepo. I have shared it many times but I find myself coming back to it often because it talks about this acceptance of all we are not. And we are ever changing which requires periodic shedding of what we are not. Our lives and circumstances change as well so there is a constant shifting of what we are no longer and what we might become. Here is an excerpt: 

No matter how we feel in any one moment, we are not just our feelings, our roles, our traumas, our prescription of values, or our obligations and ambitions. It is so easy to define ourselves by the moment of struggle we are wrestling with. It is a very human way, to be consumed by what moves through us. In contrast, I often think about how Michelangelo sculpted, how he saw the sculpture waiting, already complete, in the uncut stone. He would often say that his job was to carve away the excess, freeing the thing of beauty just waiting to be released. It helps me to think of spiritual discernment in this way. Facing ourselves, uncovering the meaning in our hard experiences, the entire work of consciousness speaks to a process by which we sculpt away the excess, all that we are not; finding and releasing the gesture of soul that is already waiting, complete, within us. 

The shedding away of the excess allows us to celebrate the beauty underneath. The pretenses and protections we wrap around ourselves often block us from touching our authentic selves. It is in the vulnerability of carving all of that away that we “release the gesture of soul that is already waiting, complete, within us.”

I am beginning to think about options for my next retreat which will likely be September 2026. I know its a long time from now but the time will pass quickly. Feel free to share any suggestions with me of where you would like to go. I have my own ideas but would love to hear your thoughts as well.