The Gift of Friendship

I hope you all are well. Deep friendships often sustain us through both good times and challenging ones. I was thinking about that quite a bit last week as I realized that some of the new friendships I am building here in Florida are truly beginning to feel like “old” friendships in the best ways. In addition, one of my dearest lifelong friends and I recently had a conversation about just how special our friendship is and I finished up my week by speaking to an old friend that is very sick.  I have not seen her in many years but hearing her voice (even scratchy due to a recent surgery) brought me back into the warmth of our cherished friendship. 

I shared a reading on friendship by Mark Nepo with students this week. Here is an except:

Friends have been an oasis when my life has turned a desert. They have been a cool river to plunge in when my heart has been on fire. Honest friends are the doorways to our souls, and loving friends are the grasses that soften the world. It is no mistake that the German root of the word Friendship means “place of high safety”. There can be no greater or simpler ambition than to be a friend.  

In appreciating our friendships we also have the opportunity be a friend to ourselves; to see our own souls, soften our self judgment and connect to a place of high safety within our bodies and our hearts. Whatever we give to others we should also offer to ourselves. 

I asked my students to practice that this week on the mat; to notice what they were saying to themselves as they moved through practice. I would ask “Is it what your friend would say to you? Are you holding yourself  in a place of high safety?” We often say things to ourselves that we would never say to our friends and our friends would never say to us. We deserve the nurturing, love and safety that we offer our loved ones.

In practicing being friends to ourselves we become that much more powerful in our friendships with others and all the love and joy that comes from those deep friendships further sustains us. It is a beautiful circle.

In my life, both my practice and my many deep friendships are the doorways to my soul,the grass that softens the world and truly a place of high safety for me and I am extremely grateful.