The Power of WISE SPEECH

I hope you all had a good week.  With my recent move to Florida, I have been playing a bit more tennis as it’s a great way to meet people. A week and a half ago I played in a clinic and there was a middle-aged woman there who I hadn’t met before. She seemed quite interested in getting to know me and asked me several questions. I shared that we had recently relocated and my son had just started his freshman year at a new high school.  She responded by telling me that she also had moved her freshman year in high school to a new place and new school and that she still hadn’t recovered from the traumatic experience. 

What I found in that moment… as I paused… was the power of WISE SPEECH. This might sound strange under the circumstances but it’s not, because what the practice of wise speech allows us to do is to notice and have compassion for what is underneath the unwise speech of others From there we gain an understanding of the reactivity that drives those un wise responses and we also experience a freedom for ourselves not to attach to it or suffer from it. 

I shared this story with my students last week as we connected to the 4 Principles of Wise Speech; to speak Truthfully, Helpfully, From a Kind Heart and At the Right Time. I asked them to think about wise speech not just in  speaking to others but also in terms of how we speak to ourselves. We used the practice on the mat to help us notice when judgment and anger was coming up, to practice being helpful and kind in thoughts and speech to ourselves as well. 

There happen to be AMAZING side effects from practicing WISE SPEECH both with ourselves and others.  The first is that we get better at it. We learn how to pause (as I did) and reflect before responding. That reflection enables us to become less reactive to those who may not be practicing it. We learn to explore our own true intentions before we speak and then we discover what are the drivers of our own reactivity.  All of this helps us minimize extra suffering we may cause ourselves and allows us to be more effective communicators and HAPPIER HUMANS.