Time & Loving Attention Heals

I hope you all had a great weekend. Recently I was checking in with my father-in-law. His wife (my mother-in-law) passed away in May so the last several months have been painful and difficult.

He told me that a friend of his, who lost his wife even more recently than he had, already had his wife’s clothing removed from the house because looking at the clothing made him sad. Soon afterwards the friend expressed regret as he realized that looking at the empty closet made him feel just as sad and empty with the comfort of her things gone.

Healing from loss is a process that we cannot rush or run from. Grief takes time to soften but it is not just time that heals; it is TIME & LOVING ATTENTION together that heals us. We can attempt to speed through, to “clean out the proverbial closet” right away but pain and loss needs more than that in order to soften.

I shared this message with my students last week. Using our bodies to practice on the mat helps us incorporate more fully this truth off of it. Physically we know that when we are dealing with pain or injury that it is not just time but also care that usually helps us to heal. Off the mat the same is true; whether its loss, fear, disappointment or any other difficult emotion; rushing through the discomfort and not giving ourselves both time and loving attention thwarts are opportunities to heal.

I love this quote as a reminder how important sorrow is in the process of cultivating compassion for ourselves and others.

“Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.” – Maomi Nye

The difficult emotions and how we meet them are part of our journey. If we circumvent or rush through we are not truly on the path to healing. Instead we can meet our pain with patience (TIME) and understanding for ourselves (LOVING AWARENESS) and together that helps ease our suffering.