We need more than time to Heal

I hope you all are doing well. I just started working with a couple who are going through unspeakable grief, the loss of their only child. There is a common belief in our culture that time heals all wounds. What I shared with them and with my classes this past week is that is not the case. We need more than time to begin to heal, we need the combination of TIME & LOVING ATTENTION.
This is something we understand better when it comes to our physical body. We know that time is usually not enough when trying to recover from illness or injury… we need to rest, focus on nutrition, take medicine and treat our bodies with care. If we push too hard and are not kind to our bodies then the healing doesn’t happen.
On the mat we experience the same; softening into resistance with loving attention helps the resistance soften back; just holding the pose is often not enough to begin to let go of what we are holding in our bodies. We use tools like the breath to soften into a place of gentle attention rather than tightness and judgment.
Off the mat this is often much more challenging. The practice at first is to just briefly touch those difficult painful emotions with loving attention. Then with time (and more practice) we can begin to spend more time in that place and less in the place of extreme pain or avoidance. Truly the pain does not go away but we learn to be able to co-exist with it in ways that allow us to connect to not just the pain but the joy as well. This is what our mindfulness practice offers; the practice of being able to be with it all at the same time. In many cases it can be a painstakingly long practice, so that is where the patience and time come in. With patience and loving attention together we can find our path towards healing.
